TO DIE ALONE OR TO DIE SINGLE

<<< Yea, you see that expression. Yup! Exactly... shake your head in amazement because you know damn well (!) that EVERYTHING I say from this point on will be of the utmost sincerity (lol).

Moving on (!), let me make this clear right now, before you, being the reader, begins to even assume the worse or the typically expected. That being either bashing women, making prejudice statements and typecasting all women or categorizing all women as deviant or vain in character and nature. This post is in no way an attempt to propagate any stereotypes or insist that the end results of my case-specific experiences with women are at all solely dependent or have been completely determined by their past and present choices. I am not writing this to vent and I am not writing this with the intent of degrade the opposite sex/gender. With that said, please, I beg you, as a reader, be objective. Take the aforementioned and the hereafter simply for what it is - my opinion and how I think. I would really appreciate that from you. 

Now, for starters, BITCHES AINT SHIT GOT DAMMIT! Fuck a hoe, slap a slut, get the doe and bust a nut (haha)! I am only joking (lol); I figured the irony would lighten things up a bit (smile). At any rate, the moral of the story is that I feel and think that it is logical for me to discern that I will indeed die a single man. I do not believe in having a soul mate or that there is some pending, majestic and sincerely inspiring event (its so romantical lol) that awaits my attendance or presence. In my opinion, destiny is the sum of your actions and in-actions, experiences or lack there of, and lastly, preparedness and opportunity. I also think that it is irrational to hope to one day be afforded the opportunity to indulge fanaticism (fantasy, dream, delusion, etc). I mean seriously, are you actually and sincerely taking yourself serious if you pray for a good man or woman? Really? You are serious? Oh you are? Oh okay then! Well just know that you are U.G.L.Y. (underachieving greatly while losing youth).

Just to put everything out there, I will be 26 this year (March 18th - this coming Friday) and I have only been dating or entertaining women since I was 18 plus a day (literally). As far as sex? I have only been sexually active since my 21st birthday anniversary (15 minutes of fame is how I brought in my 21st bday lol). I lost my virginity to a female who I thought would be with me long term, but I quickly learned that that was definitely not the case; we just were not meant for one another I guess. Oh well! As they say, you can not win them all (tear lol). In any case, in the last 5 years I can honestly say that I have yet to build and establish a solid foundation with any woman and the closest that I have come to doing so was dating a single mother, at the time a self sufficient college student, for 5 months. In the last two (2) weeks of said 5 months she chose to not only forfeit her opportunity to continue and further our companionship, but she also thought it wise to welcome/invite her ex-boyfriend and dead beat baby daddy to rekindle their lost love/lust (I was unaware of this fun fact until almost 1 full year later).

To be fair, I will say that a single parent should find it in their heart to be forgiving and reasonable if and when they are dealing with a once absentee parent because that is an exhibition of priority and maturity. What I can not sympathize or empathize with is a single parent allowing themselves to be misused for the purposes of convenience (enabling) for any reason, let alone because said absentee parent feeds them an insulting lie filled with rehearsed and redundant tales of sudden enlightenment and wishful thinking. Seriously, the man has done nothing for his child in any respect (mind you you have taken care of this man prior to, during and even after your pregnancy), has physically (mild) and verbally abused you and has nothing of his own (did I mention that he is 11 years older than her and I?) other than the latest version of Madden - most popular NFL video game. Yup, you guessed it, that mother FUCKER... U.G.L.Y. (underachieving greatly while losing youth)! LMAO!

Note: I met her mother, father, her brothers approved, her best friends and sister approved and I was even invited to their family reunion and she thinks she can do this shit to me?! <Training Day voice>

I really liked that girl (name undisclosed) and I really enjoyed and appreciated the bond I shared with her and her son. Although parenting is always a struggle, and sometimes it can seem to deplete ones esteem, I can imagine how fulfilling it must feel to know or at least believe that you are close enough to someone (child) who will always cherish you and feel as if they need you in more ways than one (1). Her son was my son and he is about the only person, outside of my late Grandparents and my currently incarcerated brother, that I can honestly say I have ever missed. It felt good to at least feel like a was or could be a good father for a while (still disappointed about that). To make it worse, her son actually called me daddy on more than one (1) occasion and I will be honest, that shit went straight to my head (lol). That situation was great while it lasted, but as I mentioned, it is evident that there are women who appreciate the lesser of men than the potentially great ones.

THIS IS WHAT YOU WOMEN REALLY WANT HUH? LMFAO

There are many more experiences I can share where the woman I was dating chose their past loves, presently or recently (at the time) pursued gentlemen (the rejection did not stop them) over myself, and for that, I can only say thank you. I remember one female I dated was single, college educated, only a few years older than myself, lived with her mother (both names on the lease), self sufficient and had a great personality (she actually approached me about dating - a modern myth) and everything between us was cool. After two (2) months of dating her (we had the type of chemistry that most movies sensationalize) she found herself troubled by the fact that I was actually what she bargained for. She told me that because I was so good to her and in general (she was inspired by my health consciousness, artistry and ambition) that we could no longer date, nor can we be friends and it would be best if we just did not communicate at all, not in person or otherwise. BITCH ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

This is exactly why I am admittedly and proudly a CAT PERSON!! lol

Dave Chapelle is a fool for this here! lol

To wrap this shit up (lol), I am just expressing how uninspired I am to date at this point. I can not deny that I love women for all of their worth and that I want not to die single, but I am a realist and this is me just accepting what is. What is is that a relationship or at least what the majority of people consider a functional relationship (i.e. treat me how I want to be treated and feel privileged to have even met me, that is your reward) will more than likely never be a viable option of mine. Most people never wed or even experience a significantly long and mostly fulfilling companionship - we can not all be winners right? 


Anyway, please comment and share my site with your friends! Thanks for reading and chuckling a bit (yes I heard you through your computer or smart phone screen). Peace! :)

On another note, what the fuck would anyone be truly expected to do with this shit here (smh)? LOL

WOW! SMH!