THE #1 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: Being ADORABLE!
You do not have to be extremely feminine; there is no need for the whole damsel in distress act (annoying as hell)! Please, just be adorable. Being adorable means to be cute (kodak moments lol), not because you are trying to be cute (catering or patronizing), but because the majority of the time the majority of the things you think, do or say are seemingly sincerely honorable or innocent. An example of being adorable would be when you're simply appreciating the man you are with (however you do so) or just by saying good morning with a REAL smile on your face. What man, what woman, what HUMAN wants to wake up to their companion being rude and making that ''your breathe has been stinking for the last 10 years'' facial expression (lmao)? Exactly! NO DAMN BODY!
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| I love you! I love you more! Oh Jerry! Oh Becky! Awe... lol |
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| Her: For 1, you aint shit, for 2, you broke! Him: Oowee! She wants me to go Farrakhan on her huh? |
THE WHAT THE F#@% MOMENT: Warning Sign!
If you are a woman who consistently makes use of the phrases *child please*, *boy bye*, *aduh*, *yup*, *mmhmm* or *whatever*, please, expect to be perceived as a bitch and a mean ass bitch at that! There is nothing adorable or inspiring about a woman who is always on the defensive end; so ready to hurt the man she is with, only to regret it later. It is the simple things that matter most and being an annoying bitch will surely keep you alone. But I know what some of you may be thinking right now...
If you are a woman who consistently makes use of the phrases *child please*, *boy bye*, *aduh*, *yup*, *mmhmm* or *whatever*, please, expect to be perceived as a bitch and a mean ass bitch at that! There is nothing adorable or inspiring about a woman who is always on the defensive end; so ready to hurt the man she is with, only to regret it later. It is the simple things that matter most and being an annoying bitch will surely keep you alone. But I know what some of you may be thinking right now...
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| I dont need a MAN; I have FACEBOOK & TWITTER! Whos up?! Anyone? |
| Im up! Holla at me little facebook shorty! I can get you all the way right! |
THE #2 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: Please... HAVE A BRAIN!
If the man you're with feels as though he can come to you (or otherwise) and talk to you about anything, anything that is going on or that he has concern about, etc, without you anxiously, proudly offering him meaningless gossip or without you giving him the most trivial ass suggestions (or worse, some ole stupid, ole dumb ass feedback lol) he will always (and I do mean ALWAYS) come to you and tell you EVERYTHING! He will tell you things that dudes don't even tell their boys or best of friends! He doesn't care whether or not you actually hear him (listen for the point of the story and not for the eventful details) or whether or not you are on his side (don't choose a side at all, be objective), that's for girls (women vent more than men do). All the man really wants and cares to know is whether or not you actually COMPREHEND his position in said situation and/or his train of thought (do you know him). There is no man out there, anywhere, that can, would or will take a dumb ass b!%@# serious!AND YOU KNOW THISSSSSSSS... MAN!!! lol
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| Happy couple! Key word is HAPPY! |
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| Actual contestant and actual answer chosen! Smh. lmao |
THE WHAT THE F#@% MOMENT: Warning Sign!
Dont do it! DO NOT DO IT! LOL Dont be the woman that OVER DOES IT!
Yes, he likes you and yes, he does see a future with you, but DAMN (!), do you really think that being in-love so quick, so fast will resolve the communication problems you have with the man you are with? Yea, well, they wont! It is understandable that when you allow someone the opportunity to become close to you and when you allow yourself to become close to that someone that naturally strong feelings will emerge, but ladies, calm the f#@% DOWN! It is not everyday that a man meets a woman that he gets and gets along with and vice versa, but dont jump the gun; jumping the gun can lead to even more communication issues.
Granted, the picture I chose to illustrate this point is pretty graphic and totally ridiculous (lmao), but the fact remains. Now that the man you are with feels as though he can come to you and tell you anything and everything, and you now feel that you can come to him and do the same, build upon that foundation. Trying to force it into something neither one of you are ready for only defeats the purpose of letting him in in the first place! Agreed?
THE #3 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: Make it COUNT!
Make your time with the man you're with COUNT!
Honestly, do you really think or believe that men give a f#@% about how bad (physically beautiful) you are or can be all 24 hrs of the day?! HELL NO! Firstly, we do not have the time and secondly, you are not the only or the last woman on earth! WAKE UP! This isn't a day dream! Do you know what us men care bout?! We care about you women shutting the hell up, leaving all of your work and/or school problems at the door and just RELAXING! Taking things easy as they say. Making sure we are taking the time to just chill like we used to chill before we got on this whole *but you ain't going nowhere* attitude bullshit! Can we smile today? Can we smile tomorrow too? Seriously, let's just smile, laugh, reminisce and remember why we even liked each other in the first place! Then, when all of that is done, let us proceed to the bedroom - this is when NIAGRA all over this VIAGRA, do you follow me (he he)?!
Yes, he likes you and yes, he does see a future with you, but DAMN (!), do you really think that being in-love so quick, so fast will resolve the communication problems you have with the man you are with? Yea, well, they wont! It is understandable that when you allow someone the opportunity to become close to you and when you allow yourself to become close to that someone that naturally strong feelings will emerge, but ladies, calm the f#@% DOWN! It is not everyday that a man meets a woman that he gets and gets along with and vice versa, but dont jump the gun; jumping the gun can lead to even more communication issues.
Granted, the picture I chose to illustrate this point is pretty graphic and totally ridiculous (lmao), but the fact remains. Now that the man you are with feels as though he can come to you and tell you anything and everything, and you now feel that you can come to him and do the same, build upon that foundation. Trying to force it into something neither one of you are ready for only defeats the purpose of letting him in in the first place! Agreed?
THE #3 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: Make it COUNT!
Make your time with the man you're with COUNT!Honestly, do you really think or believe that men give a f#@% about how bad (physically beautiful) you are or can be all 24 hrs of the day?! HELL NO! Firstly, we do not have the time and secondly, you are not the only or the last woman on earth! WAKE UP! This isn't a day dream! Do you know what us men care bout?! We care about you women shutting the hell up, leaving all of your work and/or school problems at the door and just RELAXING! Taking things easy as they say. Making sure we are taking the time to just chill like we used to chill before we got on this whole *but you ain't going nowhere* attitude bullshit! Can we smile today? Can we smile tomorrow too? Seriously, let's just smile, laugh, reminisce and remember why we even liked each other in the first place! Then, when all of that is done, let us proceed to the bedroom - this is when NIAGRA all over this VIAGRA, do you follow me (he he)?!
THE WHAT THE F#@% MOMENT: Warning Sign!
No offense to you gay mufuckas (lol), but a lot of you dudes fuck shit up for us straight mufuckas (lmao)!
And for all you rude gyals! lol If you are the stuck up type of woman, this is a must watch!
If the sex stops, the affection will stop and if the affection stops, there will be awkward moments and 9 times out of 10 that means that you just ran your boyfriend away to another woman! Keep in mind that this does not apply considering your man is secretly a homosexual male...
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| Women! Make sure your dude does not have a profile on this site! lol |
THE #4 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: Be REALISTIC!!
We are indeed men, but we are obviously still human! We have emotions too and even though you all seem to love to think that we're just ATM machines with dildos attached (wow lol), we actually ARE NOT ROBOTS (lol)! The thing is this: women and men are never on the same part of the cycle (emotional, psychological, spiritual, etc) at the same time. For example, when you're mad, I am happy; when I'm sick, you feel great and when you want a damn cat? DAMMIT I DON'T! Get the point (lol)?
If you are feeling strong about something, anything, please, do us both a favor and just wait until we are BOTH... NOT so emotional! When we are calm and collected we can BOTH take the time to BOTH be REALISTIC (prioritize)!!! You do want to have a cooperative relationship between you and I right?
We are indeed men, but we are obviously still human! We have emotions too and even though you all seem to love to think that we're just ATM machines with dildos attached (wow lol), we actually ARE NOT ROBOTS (lol)! The thing is this: women and men are never on the same part of the cycle (emotional, psychological, spiritual, etc) at the same time. For example, when you're mad, I am happy; when I'm sick, you feel great and when you want a damn cat? DAMMIT I DON'T! Get the point (lol)?
If you are feeling strong about something, anything, please, do us both a favor and just wait until we are BOTH... NOT so emotional! When we are calm and collected we can BOTH take the time to BOTH be REALISTIC (prioritize)!!! You do want to have a cooperative relationship between you and I right?
THE WHAT THE F#@% MOMENT: Warning Sign!
The key to getting along or having a cooperative relationship is having a cooperative effort and actually caring to get along with one another daily, weekly, monthly, annually, etc. You being the woman can assume that it is perfectly fine to be interested in the more typically female things to do, etc, and the man youre with can assume that it is perfectly fine to be interested in the more typically masculine things to do, etc, but damn near switching gender roles isnt necessary (lol) and wouldnt accomplish anything any damn way!
THE #5 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: Make us MATTER MOST!
The worse thing women/men want or think to do is to make their companion seemingly their only. Yes, it is important to refrain from being unfaithful and to maintain exclusivity, but to make your spouse your ONLY? That is not REALISTIC! We SHOULD all have more than one (1) confidant, more than one (1) best friend, etc. It is not wise, nor is it necessary to cut ones self off from the rest of the world and lose ones identity in identifying themselves totally within and never without their relationship. Foundation is key for the benefit of focus and commitment, but we all need outlets and the extensions of who we are serve as such outlets.
Let us also ACCEPT the FACT that there's other people in this world. If we decide to break off our relationship, we can and will always find new love (literally)! To continue, what is important is that we MATTER MOST to one another. If we MATTER MOST to one another, then we are one another's BEST; we CHOOSE each other over any and all possible options (imaginary or otherwise lol); we value our commitment (sense of accountability)! Please people, remember that relationship, whether friendship or companionship, can never be about ultimatum; any and all relationships take patience and empathy, so at the core our relationships must be about who and what's actually important! Agreed? And for those of you who do not agree, I am sure you do not want to end up like this...
THE WHAT THE F#@% MOMENT: Warning Sign!
Most people will say you just have to go with the flow and on some level that is arguable, but the thing about going with the flow or that *if it happens it happens cap'n* crap'n (lol) is that the person always seemingly finds inspiration for things to go south like birds for the winter (lmao). Y'all kick it, get along, go out and enjoy one another, even when you two do nothing you still have the best time (i.e. a chick, as most chicks do, told me just 3 days ago that she always has fun with me, even when we do not a damn thang), but the person all of a sudden ends up never making time or preoccupies themselves to the point of being ridiculously busy! Busy doing what exactly? NOT A GOT DAMN THANG!!! Then here comes a month or so's time and said person has not been around or in consistent contact, but then they get to asking either why nothing ever happened between you two or where you been or even more insulting they ask SO WHEN AM I GOING TO GET TO SEE YOU (as if you are the problem)! lol
Let us also ACCEPT the FACT that there's other people in this world. If we decide to break off our relationship, we can and will always find new love (literally)! To continue, what is important is that we MATTER MOST to one another. If we MATTER MOST to one another, then we are one another's BEST; we CHOOSE each other over any and all possible options (imaginary or otherwise lol); we value our commitment (sense of accountability)! Please people, remember that relationship, whether friendship or companionship, can never be about ultimatum; any and all relationships take patience and empathy, so at the core our relationships must be about who and what's actually important! Agreed? And for those of you who do not agree, I am sure you do not want to end up like this...
Do you want to pretend to not be lonely TOO?! Well say no more! Just call 1-800-Dumb Bitch and get the ALL NEW **BOYFRIEND PILLOW** TODAY!!!
THE WHAT THE F#@% MOMENT: Warning Sign!
THE #6 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: Please ladies, be WILLING!
A lot of the time you ladies can be so close to happiness...
No matter what the man you're with does for you, it is just that, HE DID IT for you! No matter what you do for him, it is just that, YOU DID IT for him! Both of those gestures may be sweet or seemingly necessary, but know that they are totally selfish (versus selfless). How? Why? They are selfish because both gestures consider what YOU (yourself or himself) think the other may need or should desire, be gratified by or show appreciation for, etc. Giving is honorable, but it is selfish and can never be a selfless act! To be selfless is to be without will or to will nothing; inquiring (questioning) and offering (being open to sharing) are selfless acts.
Now, in many ways doing for one another is needed and invited and can actually be a great thing, a seemingly selfless and inspiring thing, but more often than not it results in creating expectations, if not more expectations. That will and does make things about YOU vs HIM and how you or he are supposed to feel about what you two THINK you two have done or do for one another and it isn't supposed to be about that. It is supposed to be about what you both are doing FOR THE RELATIONSHIP (define the goal of the relationship and work toward that goal)!
Now, of course, you two are individuals so it would be ignorant to disregard the fact that both of you have got individual talents and passions, but in the end it is supposed to be the two of you, right? If so, all things considered, please, the two of you must START, STAY and KEEP THINGS THERE!
A lot of the time you ladies can be so close to happiness...
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| ...and not even know it! |
Now, in many ways doing for one another is needed and invited and can actually be a great thing, a seemingly selfless and inspiring thing, but more often than not it results in creating expectations, if not more expectations. That will and does make things about YOU vs HIM and how you or he are supposed to feel about what you two THINK you two have done or do for one another and it isn't supposed to be about that. It is supposed to be about what you both are doing FOR THE RELATIONSHIP (define the goal of the relationship and work toward that goal)!
Now, of course, you two are individuals so it would be ignorant to disregard the fact that both of you have got individual talents and passions, but in the end it is supposed to be the two of you, right? If so, all things considered, please, the two of you must START, STAY and KEEP THINGS THERE!
THE WHAT THE F#@% MOMENT: Warning Sign!
For a lot of people, something as seemingly extreme as infidelity is the first sign of them being with a totally self consumed individual! Also, for a lot of people, infidelity is not ENOUGH of a sign to end a relationship; people so called try to work things out! Well... these are there stories! HAHAHAHA
HOW IT STARTS:
HOW IT ENDS:
THE #7 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: LESS IS MORE!
This is a bit harder to explain, so I will use examples to illustrate the point (lol).
Example B: Baby? Please! Spilled milk is spilled milk; notice that the man is already upset and disappointed IN HIMSELF because he fucked up. Let us say that I am the man youre with, it would be obvious that in this moment, we BOTH know that I don't need you in my damn ear any more than you need my foot upside your head (I am not a woman beater, but damn lol)!
Example C: Knock knock! Who's there? BITCH IT'S SANITY (lol)! Where's the beautifully confident woman I fell in-like/in-lust/in-love with? Seriously ladies, TRUST YOURSELF! Trust that you have chosen the right MAN! I've BEEN doing right by you and we both know that I plan on sticking to OUR PLAN, so, all things considered (including logic I hope lol), why would I suddenly sabotage our future together? Why would I fuck up my own shit?! Remember? Remember when I said BE REALISTIC? Apparently you missed that key bit of advice (smh lol).
Also, those little voices in your ear that you love to listen to, you know, Doubtkeisha Brown and her cousin Idon'tknowgirlontavia Jenkins? Yes, those hoes! QUIT LISTENING TO THEM! Listen to your mind, body (heart) and soul; understand that I am human too. I am not TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE to you, nor am I TOO BAD TO BE GOOD to you! GIVE US A CHANCE!
ACT LIKE YOU HEARD BETTER!
Use your brain (remember?); you have to treat me like a MAN in order to be taken serious and seen as a WOMAN (then treated as a woman of course). Surely that makes sense...
Example D: FUCK WHOEVER IS AROUND, be yourself; be CONSISTENT! I am not trying to go through the biggidy bullshit today, tomorrow or EVER! Say what? Man...
Example E: WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH! Pay attention ladies: your man actually knows more about you than you know about him. Why? Sure, I'll tell you why. Come close; closer; no closer; woman put your damn ear on my lips, shit! Yes, make contact. I know my lips are wet, I licked them goofy (aduh lol). Now, the reason why is because you are always too too busy talking instead of lending your ears! Save yourself the embarrassment and please, don't make him go APE SHIT and let you have it D.L. Hughley style. You will only end up getting your feelings hurt! Relationship is not about fool ass games, so the tug of war and battleship shit, please, give it up! GROW UP!
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| Read his lips! lol |
BITCH I ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD!I like you and love you and I will ALWAYS KNOW that you are the most beautiful woman in the world; why else am I still eating your cooking, falling asleep in your NIAGRA (lol) and doing things to help us better us? Calm your happy ass down! That insecure shit is annoying and self destructive; we all make mistakes and live with some sense of regret, but you and I are perfect for one another. Stop worrying and wondering what I am thinking about and just talk to me. Quit acting like you don't know that before I punch you in your collar bone stupid (rotf kml lmmfao)!
Example G: Love... I want to be with who I met, not with who you think you are in competition with! YOU'RE paying these nothing ass females more attention than I am and if you keep trying to 1-Up those females you are going to make yourself just like them or a watered down version of them! Trust and believe that I will not stick around to witness that transformation; we are talking about my sanity here, alright (Urkle voice lol)?! If you want to be as those females then it would make more sense for me to simply leave you and get with the females you have chosen to emulate, impersonate, swagger jack, etc! I mean seriously! That's the message you are sending the man you are with... think about it...
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| Baby? I dont want a Barbie, that Barbie shit is OLD! |
THE #8 SECRET TO A MAN'S HEART: KEEP IT 100%
FINALLY... Don't think to, worry about, nor try to keep IT REAL, just keep it 100%! Keeping it real is just doing YOU, whether anyone cares or not. You must live in a world all your own in order to keep it REAL and doing so does and will lead to your lonesomeness. Now, keeping it 100% is to THINK, BE, DO and INVITE THE BEST in and of yourself and others. It shows that you care about the QUALITY (100% remember?) in and of life. What is REAL solely depends on condition (perspective/experience) and condition changes all the time; we all are not the same person and we do not all employ the same thought process so what is REAL to you may or may not be REAL to someone else, even those closest to you (i.e. your companion). The only thing any and all people can do is their best and that, my friend, is called keeping it 100%!
The W.T.F. Moment: Pay Attention
LYING ASS & FAKE ASS WOMEN! Enough said...
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